my fashion style

Once there lived a rich man who was justly proud of his cellar and the wine therein. And there was one jug of ancient vintage kept for some occasion known only to himself.The governor of the state visited him, and he bethought him and said, “That jug shall not be opened for a mere governor.”

And a bishop of the diocese visited him, but he said to himself, “Nay, I will not open that jug. He would not know its value, nor would its aroma reach his nostrils.”

The prince of the realm came and supped with him. But he thought, “It is too royal a wine for a mere princeling.”

And even on the day when his own nephew was married, he said to himself, “No, not to these guests shall that jug be brought forth.”

And the years passed by, and he died, an old man, and he was buried like unto every seed and acorn.

And upon the day that he was buried the ancient jug was brought out together with other jugs of wine, and it was shared by the peasants of the neighbourhood. And none knew its great age.

To them, all that is poured into a cup is only wine.

1.Get out of the library. You can have a degree and a huge GPA and not be ready for the workplace. A student should plan that college is four years of experience rather than 120 credits,” says William Coplin, professor at Syracuse University and author of the book, 10 Things Employers Want You to Learn in College.”

2. Start a business in your dorm room. It’s cheap, Google and Yahoo are dying to buy your website, and it’s better than washing dishes in the cafeteria. Note to those who play poker online until 4 a.m.: Gambling isn’t a business. It’s an addiction.

3. Don’t take on debt that is too limiting. This is not a reference to online gambling, although it could be. This is about choosing a state school over a pricey private school. Almost everyone agrees you can get a great education at an inexpensive school. So in many cases the debt from a private school is more career-limiting than the lack of brand name on your diploma.

4. Get involved on campus. When it comes to career success, emotional intelligence — social skills to read and lead others — get you farther than knowledge or job competence, according to Tiziana Casciaro, professor at Harvard Business School. Julie Albert, a junior at Brandeis University, is the director of her a capella group and head of orientation this year. She hones her leadership skills outside the classroom, which is exactly where to do it.

5. Avoid grad school in the liberal arts. One in five English Phd’s find stable university jobs, and the degree won’t help outside the university: “Schooling only gives you the capacity to stand behind a cash register,” says Thomas Benton, a columnist at the Chronicle of Higher Education (who has an English degree from Yale and a tenure-track teaching job.)

6. Skip the law-school track. Lawyers are the most depressed of all professionals. Stress itself does not make a job bad, says Alan Kreuger, economist at Princeton University. Not having control over one’s work does make a bad job, though, and lawyers are always acting on behalf of someone else. Suicide is among the leading causes of premature death among lawyers.

7. Play a sport. People who play sports earn more money than couch potatoes, and women executives who played sports attribute much of their career success to their athletic experience, says Jennifer Cripsen of Sweet Briar College in Virginia. You don’t need to be great at sports, you just need to be part of a team.

8. Separate your expectations from those of your parents. “Otherwise you wake up and realize you’re not living your own life,” says Alexandra Robbins, author of the popular new book “The Overachievers.” (Note to parents: If you cringe as you read this list, then you need to read this book.)

9. Try new things that you’re not good at. “Ditch the superstar mentality that if you don’t reach the top, president, A+, editor in chief, then the efforts were worthless. It’s important to learn to enjoy things without getting recognition,” says Robbins.

10. Define success for yourself. “Society defines success very narrowly. Rather than defining success as financial gain or accolades, define it in terms of individual interests and personal happiness,” says Robbins.

11. Make your job search a priority. Jobs do not fall in your lap, you have to chase them. Especially a good one. It’s a job to look for a job. Use spreadsheets to track your progress. And plan early. Goldman Sachs, for example, starts its information sessions in September.

12. Take a course in happiness. Happiness study is revolutionizing how we think of psychology, economics, and sociology. How to be happy is a science that 150 schools teach. Preview: Learn to be more optimistic. This class will show you how.

13. Take an acting course. The best actors are actually being their most authentic selves, says Lindy Amos of communications coaching firm TAI Resources. Amos teaches executives to communicate authentically so that people will listen and feel connected. You need to learn to do this, too, and you may as well start in college.

14. Learn to give a compliment. The best compliments are specific, so “good job” is not good, writes Lisa Laskow Lahey, psychologist at Harvard and co-author of “How the Way We Talk Can Change the Way We Work.” Practice on your professors. If you give a good compliment the recipient will think you’re smarter: Big payoff in college, but bigger payoff in the work world.

15. Use the career center. These people are experts at positioning you in the workforce and their only job is to get you a job. How can you not love this place? If you find yourself thinking the people at your college’s career center are idiots, it’s probably a sign that you really, really don’t know what you’re doing.

16. Develop a strong sense of self by dissing colleges that reject you. Happy people have “a more durable sense of and aren’t as buffeted by outside events,” writes Sonja Lyubomirsky of the University of California-Riverside. When bad things happen, don’t take it personally. This is how the most successful business people bounce back quickly from setback.

17. Apply to Harvard as a transfer student. Sure people have wild success after going to an Ivy League school but this success is no more grand than that of the people who applied and got rejected. All people who apply to Ivy League schools seem to have similar high self-confidenceand ambition, even if they don’t get in, according to a study by Kreuger.

18. Get rid of your perfectionist streak. It is rewarded in college, but it leads to insane job stress and an inability to feel satisfied with your work. And for all of you still stuck on number 6, about ditching the law school applications: The Utah Bar Journal says that lawyers are disproportionately perfectionists.

19. Work your way though college. Getting involved in student organizations counts, and so does feeding children in Sierra Leone or sweeping floors in the chemistry building. Each experience you have can grow into something bigger. Albert was an orientation leader last year, and she turned that experience into a full-time summer job that morphed into a position managing 130 orientation leaders. A great bullet on the resume for a junior in college.

20. Make to do lists. You can’t achieve dreams if you don’t have a plan to get there.

1) Make Your Bed Every Morning I’ve heard this one before, and not just from my mother. For most people, outer order leads to inner calm. And making your bed is one quick, easy way to get some semblance of a tidy room (even when your closet is anything but). 2) Shorten Your Commute Okay, this one may not be a cinch. But if there’s any way you can shorten your commute, it’s certainly worth the effort. Spending two hours a day in gridlock traffic is enough to drive even the most Zen commuter up the wall. Not only is the drive itself infuriating, a long commute eats up time that could be spent on proven happiness boosters, like sleeping or interacting with other people. 3) Find a Rocking Chair You know it works for babies. Now it seems that rockers bring similar comfort to elderly sufferers of dementia. Researchers at the University of Rochester encouraged 25 residents to rock as much as they like and they became less upset and anxious and required less pain medication. So who’s to say it couldn’t work for you? 4) Make Lists Writing it down (whatever “it” may be) is a successful tool for managing stress. Just make sure your list doesn’t get out of control. After all, your list is supposed to help with your stress, not add to it. Remember that you can always adjust your priorities. 5) Paint Your Toenails… Even in the Winter In the winter months, it’s easy to ignore your feet until they morph into a Shrek-like monstrosity. Who’s going to see them anyway, right? Wrong. You are! So give them a soak, a scrub, a bit of moisture, and a dash of color. You’ll feel better instantly. 6) Wake up the Right Way Are you coffee lover? Wake up to the smell of freshly brewed coffee by investing in a percolator with a programmable timer. Tired of waking up to the shriek of a buzzer or the irritating voice of the talk radio host? Get yourself an alarm clock that wakes you up with natural light and sounds. 7) Talk About Something New People tend to get stuck on the same old topics of conversation. Stimulate your mind and encourage others too by finding one little interesting tidbit a day and starting a conversation by saying, “Did you hear about _____? What do you think?” Refuse to Give Advice The easiest way to get sucked down the negative spiral is by participating. Do your friends a favor: When they start unloading their problems on you, let them figure it out on their own. The reverse is also true — don’t bore your friends with your problems. Focus on fun! 9) Rearrange Your Furniture It may sound silly, but even the tiniest shift of a kitchen table or couch can make all the difference. It’ll make the room—and you!—feel new again. And the best part? It doesn’t cost a thing. (Tip: If you need to move a large item on your own, stick a dish towel under each leg and push; or if you’ve got carpet, use furniture sliders). 10) Smile on the Outside Even when you’ve got nothing to smile about. Forcing a smile can trick your body into changing your mood. You’ll also find that other people will react better to you when you’ve got a smile on your face. Voila! You’ve just created a snowball effect of fuzzy feelings. 11) Gaze at a Photograph If the photograph is of a loved one, it can stimulate blood supply to the brain, says researcher Andreas Bartels from University of London. Imagine them giving you a hug. 12) Get Informed Stuck on a problem that just won’t go away? Try Googling it. Reading up on how other people have handled your situation may give you some clues on how to tackle it yourself. 13) Turn off the TV Happy people don’t watch TV. Instead, they socialize, which brings them more long-term satisfaction. We’re not saying to skip your favorite shows altogether. But if the choice is between watching something just because it’s on, and grabbing a friend for a last minute dinner date… well… you know what to do. 14) Eat Avocados Avocados are good for your skin, your hair and—more importantly—your heart. But did you know they’re also good for your mood? They’ve got monounsaturated fats and tryptophan, which boosts feel-good chemical endorphins in the brain. 15) Sing or Hum a Tune Listening to music can make you feel good, but singing or humming your own tune is even better! Try making up the words to one of your favorite songs, and sing it out loud. Even if your cat is the only one who appreciates it, you’ll feel good about it. 16) Break the Rules Here’s a little known confidence booster: when you follow your own path, (especially when you go against the grain) it’s incredibly intoxicating. We’re not advocating anything illegal, just saying that you should do exactly what you want sometimes and not what you think you should be doing. 17) Invigorate Your Senses A quick spray of lavender, eucalyptus, rosemary or lemon can clear your head quicker than you think. For an extra-calming treat, take a nap on a pillow scented with lavender – either in fabric spray form, or crumble some of the plant itself and put it in your pillowcase. 18) Visit a Quiet Place Libraries, museums, gardens, and other quiet places can give you a break from the frantic pace of everyday life. Find a secret spot and make it your sanctuary, whether it’s in your backyard or the Reference section. 19) Forgive Someone Research shows that those who are able to forgive are less stressed, less angry and more optimistic than those who aren’t. So, if you’re holding onto old grudges for the sake of it, it might just be time to let go. 20) Spend More Time with Your Happy Friends Misery loves company. Too often, we find ourselves surrounded by soul-crushing negativity. The good news? Happiness really is contagious. Research shows that happiness, even when removed by three degrees, can make you happier than an extra $5000. Focus on spending time with the optimistic people in your life and you might just become one of them.

The turning of the calendar is both arbitrary and powerful. Each day is just another day, but when the year resets we feel like the slate is cleaned and we can begin anew.

Here are five ideas to help you get a good start for 2010–not just a new year, but the start of a new decade.

1. Set up a savings plan.

Ever since the financial tsunami swept all before it in September 2008, many people have saved furiously. That’s a good thing, but there’s a temptation to lose that discipline once the storm clouds start to break.

While the economy remains fragile and many people are still out of work, signs of recovery are becoming more and more apparent. Among your New Year’s resolutions include a savings goal that is a function of your regular income, even if it’s not a large amount of money. Maintaining the discipline is crucial. The amount of savings can grow over time.

2. Build a rainy-day fund.

Advice on how to save for retirement or your kids’ college is plentiful. Less plentiful is guidance on what kind of rainy-day fund you should have.

A rainy-day fund, which your savings plan can feed, should cover about six months of income. It’s a form of personal insurance, valuable in these rapidly changing times.

This fund should be kept in safe and easy-to-tap assets. Laddering certificates of deposit out six months is one way.

That means buying CDs of one month, two months, etc. to six months. As each CD matures you buy another six-month CD to keep the ladder in place.

3. Migrate to a debit card or to plastic that must be paid each month.

Cutting up credit cards makes a lot of sense and eliminating all credit-card debt makes even more sense. The interest rates associated with credit-card debt can easily overwhelm the returns you can get elsewhere.

But the world is moving away from cash at a rapid clip. The notion of having no plastic is barely feasible. Try buying a plane ticket with cash and see what that sparks in the government computers.

So what kind of card to have? A debit card acts just like cash, which makes it the best option. You can spend only what you have.

Second best are charge cards that require payment in full each month. Ever since I paid off my last credit-card debt in 1996, I have only used a charge card or a debit card. It gets tough, especially around big events such as Christmas. But it’s nice to not have a tempting and expensive option in the wallet.

4. Rebalance your investments.

Last year, rebalancing meant adding to stock exposure after a year of steep stock losses. That notion felt mildly crazy at the time, but it proved wise.

That’s because stocks rallied from the March lows and put in a remarkably strong year. Now, most of us are probably too heavy on the stock side of the equation. Moving some of the money into bonds or even cash to regain balance would be prudent.

5. Plan to reward yourself.

New Year’s resolutions usually don’t stick and a big reason is that it’s all like eating sawdust. Go on a diet, save money, don’t spend. We start the year like ascetic monks and by February we discover that the monastic life isn’t for us.

Therefore, it’s important to have one resolution that is fun. A little sugar with the vinegar.

For myself, it means saving up money for a special family trip later this year. This saving is in addition to the savings plan established in the first resolution.

Youth is not a time of life; it is a state of mind; it is not a matter of pink cheeks, red lips and flexible knees; it is a matter of will, a quality of imagination, a vigor of the emotion;it is the freshness of the deep springs of life.

Youth means a dispositional control of courage over cowardice, of the appetite for adventure over the love of ease. This often exists in a man of 60 more than a boy of 20. Nobody grows old merely by a number of years. We grow old by deserting our ideals.

Years may wrinkle the skin, but to give up enthusiasm wrinkles the soul. Worry, fear, self-distrust bows the heart and turns the spirit back to dust.

Whether 60 or 16, there is in every human being’s heart the looking forward to wonder, the endless child-like appetite of what’s next and the joy of the game of living. In the center of your heart and my heart there is a wireless station: so long as it is receiving messages of beauty, hope, cheer, courage and power from men and from God, you are young.

When the aerials are down, and your spirit is covered with snows of cynicism and the ice of pessimism, then you are grown old, even at 20, but as long as your aerials are up to catch waves of optimism, there is hope you may die young at 80.

As the Lord God was creating the world he called upon his archangels. The Lord asked his archangels to help him decide where to put the Secret of Life.

“Bury it in the ground,” one angel replied.

“Put it on the bottom of the sea,” said another.

“Hide it in the mountains,” another suggested.

The Lord replied, “If I see to do any of those, only a few will find the Secret of Life. The Secret of Life must be accessible to EVERY-ONE!”

One angel replied, “I know: put it in each man’s heart. Nobody will think to look there.”

“Yes!” said the Lord. “Within each one’s heart.”

And so it was —— The SECRET OF LIFE lies within all of us.

KISSING, stroking and wild embraces are common enough, but now the quiet, romantic gesture of holding hands in public is a final frontier for many young couples in the West-even though, traditionally it was the first step towards intimacy.

 Power couples on the world stage have taken to handholding as a sign of equality and commitment. The Obamas are often snapped hand-in-hand. UK Prime Minister Gordon Brown and his wife parade with fingers entwined. And Nicolas Sarkozy and wife Carla Bruni are notorious for their public affection.

That very fact-that it’s a simple but powerful statement of commitment-is exactly what deters many young people from linking hands.

 ”There is no public display of affection more intimate between two people than handholding”, writes New York bachelor Jozen, on his blog. “Holding hands is the ultimate sign that two people are not only together, but happily so. Couples kiss madly, hug madly. But hold hands madly? Oh no, they don’t do that.”

Public Display of Affection is so common and varied that it’s earned its own acronym, the PDA.

I was recently in London sharing a coffee with my uncle, who’s in his 50s. When we went to leave a teenage couple was wildly embracing and kissing in the doorway in front of us. “If they really loved each other they wouldn’t feel the need to do that,” he muttered disapprovingly.

Sarah Maddock, a 26-year-old Londoner, explains that a lot of young people aren’t thinking about the long term when they date someone: “Kissing and touching are fueled by passion and don’t necessarily mean people plan to be together forever. But a couple quietly holding hands shows something deeper.”

In the fast paced, constantly changing world of youth where everything is permitted, but nothing is certain, people have time for passion but are scared of the commitment of love.

Behavior changes as people age but still many older couples don’t share physical contact in public.

Sometimes, this is due to time. People are too busy with work or kids to share small intimacies. And there may simply not be enough space in our crowded cities.

Whatever the reason, Denise Mah, a writer on love relationships, thinks it’s a bad sign “when your love partner stops holding your hand for no obvious reason…or stops putting an arm over your shoulder in public when he or she always did before. It is a sign that a break up is imminent.”

Going hand-in-hand may not only be a sign of a sturdy relationship but may also have health benefits.

Holding the hand of a loved one reduces pain during times of distress, according to a recent study by psychologists at the University of California.

Another study by an American psychology professor, Julianne Holt-Lunstad, showed that support between couples reduces stress. One important way that people express this support, researchers say, is through “non-sexual, caring physical touch, such as hand-holding”.

Subtle shows of affection may be increasingly rare in our frenzied world. However, if the statesmen can teach us anything perhaps it’s that a little handholding wouldn’t go amiss.

An Alien Language

The blockbuster film Avatar has been a smash hit at the box office in the UK and around the world, becoming the fastest film ever to earn $1bn (7bn yuan) in ticket sales.

But as well as being an entertaining feast for the eyes, the sci-fi epic also introduces movie-goers to a brand new language invented especially for the film.

The movie is set on an alien planet called Pandora which is inhabited by many strange species. The most humanoid of the planet’s inhabitants are the Na’vi, and it is the struggle between the Na’vi and human interlopers that forms the core narrative of the film.

The film has been released in 2D and 3D versions

In order to add authenticity to his vision of an alien race the film’s director James Cameron asked a professor of linguistics from the University of Southern California to invent a language for the Na’vi.

Professor Paul Frommer worked with James Cameron for four years to build upon the original 30 words or so that the director had already come up with for the language.

According to Professor Frommer, the most important aspect of the Na’vi language was that it could be articulated.

“This is an alien language but obviously it has to be spoken by human actors,” Professor Frommer told the BBC, “it has to be sounds that human beings are comfortable producing.”

The language currently has a lexicon of around 1000 words but Professor Frommer hopes to expand it in possible sequels to the film and in video games.

The professor hopes that one day his creation will become as sophisticated as the Klingon alien language from the Star Trek films.

“There’s a translation of Hamlet into Klingon,” says Professor Frommer.

“If anything happened like this with Na’vi I’d be delighted.

1.Know what constitutes strength in character. Strength in character are the qualities that allow its possessor to exercise control over his instincts and passions, to master himself, and to resist the myriad temptations that constantly confront us. Moreover, strength in character is freedom from biases and prejudices of the mind, and tolerance, love, and respect for others.

2.Focus on the positives in life, and give no thought to the negatives. A physician once said to a young woman complaining of all sorts of troubles for which she asked of him a cure: “Don’t think of them: it is the most powerful of all cures.” Physical and mental pains can be alleviated by effort of the will to divert the mind into opposite channels, and exacerbated by the dwelling upon them.

3.Conquer all fears. Timidity is a stumbling block to success. Entertain no superstition, based upon superficial observations, but accepts facts based only upon solid reason. Build not your foundation upon sand, but upon a rock. Once you overcome fear, you will have the strength in character to think, to resolve, and to act victorious.

4.Seek the truth. Favour reason over emotion. The man with a strong character will examine all the facts with the head, and not be biased by emotions from the heart. He will settles all matters upon reason alone, and not entangle himself in the chaos of sensations.

5.Be neither a pessimist nor an optimist, but a leader. A pessimist complains about the wind, an optimist expects the adverse wind condition to improve, but the leader takes action to adjust the sails.

6.Guard against irrational impulses. Always look before you leap. Free yourself from enslavement by your own passions. Inordinate, sensual appetites are the marks of a weak character.

7.Be content with what you have.Be content with your lot. Appreciate your own values and that which you have.

8.Be brave enough to take calculated risks. If you shun the battle, you must forego the victory and the joy associated therewith. Neither be cowardly, nor aloof, nor evade your rightful duties, but be courageous to contribute to the progress of mankind.

9.Learn to master your feelings. Let not anything other than sound reason dictate your decisions in the conduct of everyday life. Suppress inordinate impulses, and flee from temptations as soon as they appear. It is always difficult, and at times impossible, not to yield to feelings deep within the habitation of your soul, but you can learn to suppress their manifestations, and overcome them with common sense and sound judgment.

10.Be calm, and you will have smooth sail.Be calm in all things. Calmness is a state of quietude that enables you to concentrate and reassemble your divergent thoughts and meditate with profit. Comtemplation leads to ideas, and ideas lead to opportunties, and opportunities lead to success.

To respect my work, my associates and myself. To be honest and fair with them as I expect them to be honest and fair with me. To be a man whose word carries weight. To be a booster, not a knocker; a pusher, not a kicker; a motor, not a clog.

To base my expectations of reward on a solid foundation of service rendered; to be willing to pay the price of success in honest effort. To look upon my work as opportunity, to be seized with joy and made the most, and not as painful drudgery to be reluctantly endured.

To remember that success lies within myself; in my own brain, my own ambition, my own courage and determination. To expect difficulties and force my way through them, to turn hard experiences into capital for future struggles.

To interest my heart and soul in my work, and aspire to the highest efficiency in the achievement of results. To be patiently receptive of just criticism and profit from its teaching. To treat equals and superiors with respect, and subordinates with kindly encouragement.

To make a study of my business duties; to know my work from the ground up. To mix brains with my efforts and use system and method in all I undertake. To find time to do everything needful by never letting time find me or my subordinates doing nothing. To hoard days as a miser does dollars, to make every hour bring me dividends in specific results accomplished. To steer clear of dissipation and guard my health of body and peace of mind as my most precious stock in trade.

Finally, to take a good grip on the joy of life; to play the game like a gentleman; to fight against nothing so hard as my own weakness, and endeavor to grow in business capacity, and as a man, with the passage of every day of time.